dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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