Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
