I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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