Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
