If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
