I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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