THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
