this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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