the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
