The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
