Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
