he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
