i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
