is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
