i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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