i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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