No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I could fuck to npr.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
