Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I want to be your penis for a week.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
