My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
