He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
