He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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