you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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