you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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