i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
