I feel great
I just peed on a car
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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