She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
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Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
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Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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