I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
