I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
