so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I sprained my soul last night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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