I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
