all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i barfeds in our rink
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
