I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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