that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
