my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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