hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
