we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
