I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
