The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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