well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
