Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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