I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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