Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
