I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
