oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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