I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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