Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
