Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
