For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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