i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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