By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
