By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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