Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
