totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
