He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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