i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
