You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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