There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize