I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
