Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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