thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
