Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
