Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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