I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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