I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
