Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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