This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
