ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need a beard to bite.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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