p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
