Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
