Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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