What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize